… I can see all obstacles in my way.
I have spent almost my whole life, now over 40 years, caring far too much about offending people, worrying if I am doing the right thing, concerned if I fit in with others (wanting to be accepted), and asking myself if other people are judging me as I walked the institutional church halls.
After many years within the institutional church, being involved in many aspects of the organization (volunteering, teaching, studying, reading, small groups, prison ministry, research teams, leadership conferences, sunday school, discipleship, mentoring, and many other projects and classes) I have come to a point in my spiritual life that makes total sense to me now. I can simply say…
… I don’t give a shit anymore!
I have come to learn that most of “church” (or organized religion) is a huge gigantic pile of brown squishy stuff.
As long as we accept the institutional church premise and refuse to recognize that the Church went from a functioning, living body of Christ Jesus that gathered together for roughly almost 300 years, to a position-minded, self-centered, power-hungry, choosing mammon over God “institutional” man-made organization which functions a lot like a big corporation with a “bottom line”, then we will spend most of our time debating matters on a premise that is too narrow to notice the big picture.
I am done debating these matters. This does not make me a bitter man, it makes me a man who is finally seeing straight for the first time in his life. I am just pissed at myself for taking 40 years to realize this. I am now a loving man. I do not know the answers, and in reality no one knows the answers to any of the crap argued out in the public square anyway.
I can now hear God saying … it is about time you wised up … finally! We can get started now that all the mumbo-jumbo garbage is pushed aside. Time to focus on the big picture and quit meddling with the little doctrinal and “what we believe” details. All of that is a waste of time, exactly what evil wants you to do, stay busy arguing out a “correct” answer. It is time to just help, encourage, and love others. Together we can show the “Allness” of God. Together, in action, we can show the love of Christ everywhere we go.
I can give a rat’s ass if people are a certain denomination, go to church every day, don’t cuss, cuss, tithe 10%, or believe the earth is billions of years old, all of that does not matter. I will love them for the person they are in Christ. I do not care if they are a different race, gay, drive a VW bug, ride a Harley, a churchgoer, a democrat, drink whiskey, or all of the above. Christ is the magnet that holds this whole flippin universe together. There is nothing more, nothing less, or nothing else that matters … just Him, just Love!
God finally has me where he wants me, away from all the bullshit out there. The more I read, the more I studied, the more I wanted to just walk away … and I am extremely thankful I did.
I finally found Christ!